Smart Software Engineer
One smart Software engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Pune in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software engineer & that girl.
After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."
PM thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"
That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".
Finally, do u know what our clever Software engineer thought?
"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software engineer & that girl.
After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."
PM thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"
That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".
Finally, do u know what our clever Software engineer thought?
"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."
FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Speed up ur adobe reader (almost like notepad)
Some of u may be knowing this trick but i m posting for those who dont know this trick--
1. Go to the installation folder of acrobat reader
(C:\program files\adobe\Reader 8.0\Reader)
(Also make sure that acrobat reader is not open else it will lock the files and not allow you to move the files).
2. Move all the files and folders from the "plugins" directory to the "Optional" directory. (Do.. cut and paste, Don't copy & paste).
Now your acrobat reader will load very fast
and almost as good as notepad...!!!
Message given by Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam
Most of us in the IT field, used to do one thing before leaving for the day from office, Press Ctrl+Alt+ Del and leave to home happily.
That means your PC is still on..
One normal PC in the sleeping mode (Hibernation) will consume 35 watts/hr.
Based on this we will do a small calculation.
For one week 24 * 7 = 168 Hrs
Of this if we consider that we are working for 68 hours, then
the PC is in sleeping mode for 100 Hrs a week.
For one month 4 * 100 = 400 Hrs
In a normal IT office, if we assume approximately 250 PCs are
there,
250 * 400 = 1,00,000 Hrs (Sleeping Mode)
So the power wasted in an office in a month is,
100000 * 35 = 3500 KWH or units.
If the charge per unit is IRs. 6, then totally the wastage value is approximately 21000 Indian rupees.
Here the sad thing is not the money loss to the company but the power loss to the country. (Hope no company is bothered about this procedure of keeping the system in sleeping mode)
Apart from the loss to the country we need to think of the efforts people are putting for producing the power in the Mines, Thermal Stations, Hydro electric Stations, etc. If this is to continue, the cost of unit power will go up & at one stage we will not get power even if we are ready to pay any cost.
So before leaving to home take some time to shut down the PC and do some favour to the country and the organisation.
If you feel that this point is to be considered forward this to all your friends.
*** Do it once it will become a Habit... Good Habit...be a good citizen of India .....
have a nice day ahead
cheers
By Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam
That means your PC is still on..
One normal PC in the sleeping mode (Hibernation) will consume 35 watts/hr.
Based on this we will do a small calculation.
For one week 24 * 7 = 168 Hrs
Of this if we consider that we are working for 68 hours, then
the PC is in sleeping mode for 100 Hrs a week.
For one month 4 * 100 = 400 Hrs
In a normal IT office, if we assume approximately 250 PCs are
there,
250 * 400 = 1,00,000 Hrs (Sleeping Mode)
So the power wasted in an office in a month is,
100000 * 35 = 3500 KWH or units.
If the charge per unit is IRs. 6, then totally the wastage value is approximately 21000 Indian rupees.
Here the sad thing is not the money loss to the company but the power loss to the country. (Hope no company is bothered about this procedure of keeping the system in sleeping mode)
Apart from the loss to the country we need to think of the efforts people are putting for producing the power in the Mines, Thermal Stations, Hydro electric Stations, etc. If this is to continue, the cost of unit power will go up & at one stage we will not get power even if we are ready to pay any cost.
So before leaving to home take some time to shut down the PC and do some favour to the country and the organisation.
If you feel that this point is to be considered forward this to all your friends.
*** Do it once it will become a Habit... Good Habit...be a good citizen of India .....
have a nice day ahead
cheers
By Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam
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